10 Funniest Searches That Are In Hermione’s Google History, According To Reddit

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It’s hard to believe it’s been 11 years since the last Harry Potter movie came out, and 15 years since the last book. Even more incredible is that the Battle of Hogwarts took place in 1998, so the supposedly distant future of the Epilogue chapter has already passed. By now, James Potter II will have come of age, with his brother Albus coming right behind him.


Considering the amount of time that has passed since the series began, it can be somewhat difficult to imagine the characters in a world without the technology we now have. For example, even though wizards learned to use muggle technology more frequently, the internet would still be in its infancy when the series took place. Fans of the series on Reddit attempted to modernize the story by asking what kind of searches Hermione Granger’s Google Story would be, and it creates a hilarious new understanding of the character and her main concerns.

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If only it were that simple

Editor b00kw0rm_ make a list of questions and tasks that Hermione tried to accomplish during her time at Hogwarts, and they say a lot about her mental state. The list includes destroying a Horcrux, undoing the polyjuice potion, and fighting prejudice. And because she lived with the boldest and loudest students at Hogwarts, the question “Why are teenagers so stupid?” was also thrown out.

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It would be nice if the world could be traveled that easily, but she probably wouldn’t get much help with her magical requests, even if wizards had started using the internet. Most universal questions, however, would likely have the opposite problem, showing too many pages to be of much use. However, it’s entirely possible that she included these questions primarily for the purpose of passively and aggressively shaming anyone looking over her shoulder.

Understanding Magical Education

Everyone knows that Hermione’s dedication to her upbringing has made Hogwarts: a story her favorite book, but it wouldn’t be much of a surprise to see her turn to the web to explore her questions as well. Editor deaf imagine Hermione figuring out how to change houses regularly out of sheer frustration with Harry and Ron.

As for more typical research, this Redditor suggests that Hermione would spend her free time exploring wizarding universities, as well as studying programs abroad, perhaps to visit her old fling, Viktor Krum. . To be fair to Hermione, this research includes some questions Harry Potter fans desperately need answers for years.

Solve serious problems – Also, cats!

Many horrible things have happened at Hogwarts, including threatening messages left on the walls, the death of a student and literal torture. Apparently the wizarding world has no concept of sanity, which means it would be up to Hermione to deal with it. Editor to the sky93 illustrates this by having Hermione research information about PTSD.

Along with dealing with sanity, Hermione sought Muggle solutions to her problems, exploring the process of electing the Minister of Magic and how to file a complaint against him. If unsuccessful, she also looked into the legality of glitter bombs. Scattered among the serious issues were more typical search terms, including gifts for male friends and cat videos, a stark and amusing contrast to the other topics.

NSFW Research

In most cases, Hermione is the one anchored in the Golden Trio, but the rare counterexample was in her second year when she had a crush on Gilderoy Lockhart. She got to know him as easily as any other field of study, getting a perfect score on her pop quiz about himself.

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Although she got over her crush when she learned the truth, that doesn’t mean all the attraction is gone. As we get older and discover the more adult aspects of the Internet, JarJarBink42066 suggests that Hermione might be looking for “naked Gilderoy Lockhart” on a particularly lonely night.

Gather Blackmail Materials

Hermione knows how to get what she wants, and that starts with gathering evidence. Editor JuiceBoxBoy1 suggests the critical search term, “Animagi registered with the Ministry of Magic”. Fans already know a name she won’t find on the list: Rita Skeeter.

The essential answer to this question has led Hermione is going to make her meanest choice on the show.. In response to how Skeeter treated her and Harry, Hermione ended up trapping the reporter in a jar, only releasing her once she agreed to do whatever Hermione told her. If she had broken her word, Hermione intended to reveal her secret Animagus status to the world.

Fifth grade concerns

Editor chillaryyy specifically focused on what Hermione might be thinking in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. From ideas of what to do after graduation, to anxieties about failing her OWLs, Hermione has used the search engine as a way to deal with her biggest worries.

In addition to her worries about her test scores and her future career, chillaryyy added another personal concern: “how do you know if a boy is jealous?” Ron and Hermione played jealousy games with each otherusing Lavender Brown and Cormac McLaggen, but ended the year knowing they had both managed to make each other jealous.

Daily Concerns

While some Redditors focused on the issues Hermione might face in the Wizarding World, Redditor golden feather1 seen as more mundane concerns, which would be more likely to produce results. Because wizards so rarely use technology, Hermione would have done better not to expect to find reliable information about the wizarding world there.

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With that in mind, what muggle concerns could she find? Turns out the same concerns any teenage girl might have: “redheads, how to get your teacher to call you, hair straightening, ginger cat videos.” With as much pressure as that put on Hermione, it’s nice to imagine her lazily clicking through various Google pages in her spare time.

Hermione’s Least Favorite Subject

Hermione saw the purpose of every subject at Hogwarts except one: Divination. Harry and Ron learned to play the game for an easy O, but Hermione refused to take part in a class she didn’t believe had merit. Whereas Harry Potter fans theorized that Trelawney (and Ron) succeeded in all his prophecies, Hermione was a longtime skeptic, prompting Redditor allergic to everything to suggest that Hermione would Google, “is divination a scam?”

Hermione’s greatest flaw is her inability to accept anything she cannot see or experience. Because of this, she took time out of her busy schedule to search for evidence that the divination was completely unfounded. If she couldn’t find answers at Hogwarts, it only makes sense that she would turn to the internet instead.

“A natural pipeline for any stressed student”

Fans learned in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban that Hermione’s boggart was Professor McGonagall telling her she had failed. This tells readers a lot about his state of mind that year. Editor QueenMissLaura tried to trace the slippery slope that Hermione might take if she had had access to the internet back then. Search terms include: “Hogwarts Academic Regulations, Hogwarts Academic Councils, Assignment Extensions, and Time Travel Ethics.”

This progression makes a lot of sense and fans have to wonder how this conversation went. Other students, like Bill and Percy Weasley, took all twelve OWLs, so there was precedent for taking too many classes. Perhaps it would be better for Hogwarts to help the gifted set realistic goals, rather than send them back in time.

Hermione’s Big Mission

In the fourth year, Hermione decided to make life better for the house-elves, even though they didn’t want her help. Two Redditors perfectly captured his research needs. Editor Awesome-Coast-158 asked four different questions about knitting (and one about Viktor Krum). Editor Bliss_is_lazy thought along the same lines, imagining Hermione googling, “How big is a house-elf’s head?”

This is the perfect Google question for Hermione Granger, because she definitely needed to know. She taught herself to knit, but trying to give the house-elves decent clothes meant adjusting their proportions. Maybe if she had had a search engine to ask, her scarves and hats would have been a little less misshapen.

NEXT: 10 Inside Jokes Only Diehard Harry Potter Fans Would Understand

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